Emotional days after a trauma.
Sometimes we have hard days, and that is ok, everyone has these types of days, they may not talk about them, but we all do, its normal and natural. We don’t have to like our bad days but we do get to make a choice about the impact that they will have.
What causes Emotional days?
Bad or hard days can be due to hormones, chemical imbalances in the brain or maybe life events which have just happened or old events that we have not quite dealt with fully. Nobody’s life is perfect, no matter how much money you have or how beautiful you are, or whether you have the best house in the street with the perfect spouse, every single one of us has our ups and downs. That is just what life is all about. These types of days can have a vastly different effect on different people and that is because of the way some people look at the down days or emotional days and what we do about them. We all have a choice and it is those choices or lack of making a choice that impacts on our lives.
I have always tried to look on the positive side of life, as I don’t see the benefit of always looking for the negative in things. I really don’t enjoy the down moments, and although I have heard others say, you must feel the emotion, I didn’t want to, I had never let myself just sit in that emotion without trying to muffle it, squash it, ignore it or turn it off. I would do anything to distract myself like playing on the internet, watching TV, eating or doing something to just whittle away the time.
My attitude to these types of days has changed dramatically in the past few years and so have these down days themselves. I do things very differently now, whereas I used to beat myself up trying to get over stuff and trying to move on really fast, but never getting anywhere really, now days I do things differently and my life has changed. Yesterday was one of those days for me, I had an event which emotionally took me back to the times of going through abuse and I just sat with the feelings, I felt it for what it was and I didn’t judge myself or anyone else, it just was as it was, and today is another day and I feel so much better.
So many times in the past I have denied myself the emotions I was feeling. I use to try harder and harder to change my thinking, my actions, doing everything I could to “get over” things, put a lid on all the feelings, trying never to allow myself any feelings of the emotions. When those feelings did rise to the surface I felt guilty because I couldn’t control them, so the circle would start all over again, it just kept going around and around. I certainly don’t blame myself now.
My life changed dramatically once I changed what I had been doing and acknowledged what I was feeling, was ok to feel, it was normal emotional emotions. I stopped beating myself up, stopped all the guilty behaviour and clarity started to come and things started to feel better.
Has anyone said to you, “Just get over it!”? I had heard this too, and I truly thought I knew exactly what it meant. But I was wrong. I now understand this means don’t wallow in your “pity pit”, I want to make it clear that it doesn’t mean don’t feel the pain, because you need to do that, and recognise that you are in pain, but also acknowledge that it will end and go away. My attitude has changed, I now recommend you sit in it until it is ok, cry, scream, sulk or do what ever you need to, then move on.
Then a new day comes
Tomorrow is another day and wonderful things can happen then.
- Lorene Roberts