Understanding our uniqueness, we are not all the same.
This has been my transformative healing journey, we are all unique, we are all different but in so many ways we are all the same. We all desire love and acceptance, that is our simple human need. This is my story and confession about being different. I hope my life lessons explain what may have occurred in your life.
From childhood through to adulthood, I’ve always seen myself as different, I felt like the square peg in a round hole, a misfit or someone who perceived the world differently. I didn’t see things the same as everyone else, occasionally I mustered the courage to speak up and question things, but most of the time, I kept it to myself afraid people would find me weird, different or crazy.
Mum actually told me I was different to the other kids and the evidence was there, I could see that, so I agreed with her.
We don’t want to be different?
All I ever craved was to be “normal” or be the same as everyone else. I had some good skills, I was creative, intellectually I seemed to be able to keep up and ssshhhh…. Don’t tell anyone but I was spiritually, because as I found in my adult life, I could see things or I could feel things or I know things, and these skills were 100% embarrassing to me, how could I tell anyone that?
So I shut them down and used my intellect because intellect is normal and these other skills were different to what other people think, so they might judge me, so I hid them and never spoke about them, conforming to societal expectations, denying myself the knowledge that they even existed.
I married young because I found someone who I thought loved me, I had no idea that we were really 2 broken souls who both craved love and connection, which is the reason we got together in the first place.
He felt love by being able to dominate someone and I felt love by what I thought was devotion to me, so I allowed his behaviour. I don’t think either of us were authentically who we were, I know I certainly wasn’t, yet I wouldn’t change a thing, ever, as every experience, painful or not, contributed to my growth and learning.
Life is full of lessons
I can appreciate that my life has been perfect for ME. I needed all the crap, all the disrespect, neglect and abuse to get the lessons of the importance of loving yourself, from what I was taught. Yes I have done the work, I’ve done all the retrospection and I have dissected everything so I could get the transformative life lessons, and some of that work was hard, very hard, extremely hard, but I did it all. It is so good to heal the past wounds and now be free to be me, to embrace the different that I am, openly and love me for being me.
What others tell you doesn’t matter
This has been a long journey and it took until my 60’s for me to be able to break free, to openly discuss and accept who I am fully. My ex use to tell me that I was “stupid”, a “nutbag”, I was “eccentric”, or I was “out there”, he made me feel silly, told me I had no taste with clothes or anything and I felt useless, embarrased for being me. I probably was some of these things to a certain degree in some areas anyway and now I can own some of these, maybe all of them to a small degree, but I actually embrace some of them too. My transformative healing journey has changed the way I look at most things in life now. I now understand and know there are levels of different and that is absolutely perfect and I know I am ok with all of my “different” now.
Accepting myself for who I am
It is all fine, because that is who I am and the label others put on me doesn’t mean anything to me now because I have accepted it. It has taken me until my 60’s to realise my skills, I accept them, I own them and I love every single one of my skills, I am also able to use them to my full potential or as I see fit. It is especially rewarding to use them, recognising them to the full extent especially now when I use them with my clients.
My big confession
Acknowledgment of who I am
OK so the big confession, and this is something maybe not even my children know, I have healing hands, I very rarely use them, but I can send energy into people and make a difference to their health. I actually studied Reiki 1, but found it to restrictive and felt my intuition was a much stronger guide than following the directions of someone else. I am also quite intuitive and studied doing oracle readings once, to be told I was very good with what I said, but I found it too hard to let go and trust what was coming to me. I now just use the “knowing” in what I do and it is proving very beneficial and also very accurate.
When I see holistic counselling and Root-Cause Therapy clients, I often pull an oracle card before I see them which often gives me the direction that they need to go in. I get to know them and intuitively connect with them so I can see how I can help them, I can see what needs to happen in their life to make a difference. I just know what to say that will challenge the way they have previously thought about themselves. I know I can make a difference in other people’s lives. That is what I love about what I do, it’s why I do what I do. I have surrendered to allowing my intuition to help me make a difference and it is just wonderful.
Acknowledgment and Self Discovery- It is so important!
Am I different? Perhaps.
I know, a lot of us are different and who cares if I am different, because I love who I have become AND I accept the person I have become.
We are all special, we are all unique
Besides who would want to be the same as everyone else, anyway?
Embrace your uniqueness. There is no one in the world like you!
Disclaimer: This article is my view on my life and general information only. If you have deeper concerns regarding your mental health our resources page may be useful