How to find a new Man (or Woman)?

There are a lot of emotional benefits for you, going on dates.  You have the thrill and anticipation of meeting someone new so you have to put in some effort to make yourself attractive for someone.  Having genuine conversations with another adult encourages you to learn more about yourself because you will answer questions about yourself. There are health benefits from just being touched by another person, not to mention the butterflies you feel kissing someone new and making out. Also, the thrill that someone likes you and is attracted to you.  Just feeling desirable again makes you feel good about yourself, its great for your self-esteem especially after you have had an emotional beating. So you want a guy in your life, how do you do that? I have put together the top 6 Questions you should consider before you start. Good Luck

6 Questions to a new Relationship

1. Why do you want a relationship?

STOP!  Why do you want someone?  What needs are they going to fill?  What are you going to do with this person?  What are you going to give up by spending time with them?  What do you expect from them?  What are you never going to put up with, or what are the not negotiable things that might arise in the relationship?

2. What type of relationship do you want?

Is this new relationship going to be a platonic friendship, a friends with benefits relationship, a romantic connection, a serious long term permanent live in commitment or a quick fun fling with no commitment? Knowing the answers to these questions prior to dating will put you in a better position to work out exactly what you want from the person and the relationship.  A relationship coach will also help you work through these questions and a lot more.  It’s really impossible to move forward and be happy without knowing these answers first.  It becomes harder to work out what you really need if your already in a relationship and have emotions attached to the outcome. If you have no emotional attachments to anything you can be clearer and much more honest with yourself about what you truly want.

Some people suggest writing a detailed list of the qualities you want in a future partner. This is a great idea as it keeps you focused on what you desire in a relationship. It gets you to think about what you really want and how you want your future relationship to look like, feel and be.

3. Where to find your new relationship?

In the olden days people met others by going out socially with their friends, the circle of prospects that were available was limited, and as time has gone by with the increased travel we are now traveling to different areas and more prospects are available to us.  With the dawn of online dating sites, we now are exposed to a huge network of people who previously we could never have met.  Dating has changed.

4. How to stay safe with Online Dating

Online dating is probably much safer than the old-fashioned pub-crawling we used to do.  With online your prospects are focused and targeted, you have seen their photos, read their profiles and have chosen the type of people you meet.  You would have swapped emails so have had a chance to ensure that you have things in common. You may have used a chat feature on line first then progress to the telephone before you meet which is usually at a planned public venue, like a café or restaurant.

Writing your Profile

When writing your profile do not include personal contact information, places of work or any details which can directly be linked to you, this precaution will keep you safe until you know the other person better and you feel safe with them in a private situation.  Don’t be afraid to fill in all the relevant criteria, the more details you include the more likely you will attract your perfect choice.

5. Are all Dating Sites the same?

The different dating sites have focuses on different things. Some are international, others local, Some are focused on casual liaisons, while others more main stream and cater for all types of relationships. You need to choose carefully, read reviews, and customer testimonials, ask friends for referrals and suggestions.  Some sites use sophisticated matching systems or algorithmic formulas to match members for optimal compatibility based on personality questions.  Some sites target religious groups while others single parents, seniors, or over 40’s. There are groups for fitness junkies.  You may sign up for several different sites at first, often for free, then when you have found your preferred site you can concentrate all your effort and finances on that.

6. How quickly should I proceed?

Take things slowly and get to know the other person, there is no rush, you have the best of your life in front of you.  Have fun.

So enjoy your dating experiences, with online dating you have the chance of finding the man of your dreams. Working through these 6 Questions will have some emotional benefits, even before you have your first date. Enjoy your personal adventure, the thrill and anticipation of meeting someone new. It is a good thing to put some effort into rediscovering your attractive self and making yourself attractive for someone else. Great conversation comes with practice and having genuine conversations with another adult encourages you to learn more about yourself because you will answer questions about yourself.And

And let us not forget the health benefits from just being touched by another person, the thrill that you like someone and that someone likes you and is attracted to you.  Feeling desirable again is a great feel good.

-Lorene Roberts